The Melon Bible (requested by @Chissl)
Also sorry for if this is the wrong place to post this. The Bible will have many repeating/weird stuff because as you'd imagine, its very difficult to make the entire holy bible into a book about melons.
Chapter 1
In the beginning Melon God created farms, and soil.
2 And the farm was void and empty, and darkness was upon the face of the soil; and the spirit of Melon God moved over the water lanes.
3 And Melon God said be melons. And melons were made.
4 And Melon God saw the melon that it was good; and he divided the melon into slices.
5 And he called the melon, melon slices, and he called the darkness pumpkins. And there was potatoes and carrots and wheat one day.
6 And Melon God said: Let there be a lane made amidst the waters: and let it divide the waters from the waters
7 And Melon God made a lane, and divided the waters that were between the lane, from those that are between the waters, and it was so.
8 And Melon God called the lanes a farm, and the potatoes and carrots were plots.
9 Melon God also said; let the waters that are between the lanes be gathered into lanes themselves: and let the wet soil appear. And so it was done.
10 And Melon God called the dry land, crop lanes the straightening of the water he called, water lanes. And Melon God saw that it was good.
11 And he said: let the crop lanes bring forth green fruit, and such as may seed, and the vine yielding the fruit after its kind, which may have seed itself upon the crop lanes. And it was so done.
12 And the crop lanes brought forth the green fruit, and such as yieldeth seed according to its kind, and the vine that beareth fruit, having seed each one according to its kind. And Melon God saw it was good.
13 And the wart and shrooms were the 3rd plot.
14 And Melon God said let there be plots in the farm to divide the melons and pumpkins, and let them be for wheat, and potatoes and carrots.
15 To shine in the plots of the farm, and it was so done.
16 And Melon God made two great melons: A greater melon to rule the farm, and a lesser melon to feed the farmers.
17 And he set them in the plot of melons to shine the soil.
18 And to rule the soil and concrete. Divide the Melons and Pumpkins, and the Melon God saw that it was good.
19 And the cane and wheat were the fourth plot
20 Melon God also said: let the crops bring forth the pests having life, and the fowl that may fly over the crops of the farm.
21 And Melon God created the farmers, and every plant which the waters fertilized, according to their kinds, and every pest according to its kind. And Melon God saw that it was good.
22 And The Melon God blessed them, increase and multiply and fill the soils of the Earth, and let the fertilizer be multiplied for the crops.
23 And the peppers and beetroots were the fifth plot.
24 And The Melon God said: Let the earth bring forth the living creature in its kind, cattle and earthworms, and beasts of the soil, according to their kinds. And it was so done.
25 And Melon God made the earthworms according to their kind, and every pest that creepeth on the farm after its kind. And Melon God saw that it was good.
26 And he said: Let us make farmers to our image and likeness: and let him have dominion over the crops of the soil, and the fowls of the pumpkins, and the earthworms, and the whole earth.
27 And Melon God created melons in his own image: to the image of Melon God created him: seed and vine he created them.
28 And Melon God blessed them saying: Increase and Multiply, and fill the farm, and subdue it, and rule over the worms of the spoil, and the flies of the sky, and all pests in the farm
29 And Melon God said: Behold I have given you every herb bearing seed upon the earth, and all trees that have in themselves seed of their own.
30 And to all the worms of the soil, and to every fly of the sky, and wherein there are melons, that they may feed upon. And it was so done.
31 And Melon God saw all the things that he had made, and they were very good. And the evening and morning were the sixth day.
Chapter 2 coming soon.
Due to the unprecedented success of the Melon Bible, chapter 2 will be releasing tonight.
Thank you all for waiting patiently for chapter 2, here it is.
Chapter 2
So the farm and plots were finished, and all the crops inside them.
2 And on the seventh day Melon God ended all hunger all you had to do is eat a melon a day
Too keep starving away
3 And he blessed the seventh day, and sanctified it: because in it he had rested from all his melons which Melon God created and made.
4 These are the generations of the melon heaven and the earth, when they were created, in the day that the Lord Melon God made the melon heaven and the earth:
5 And every crop of the field before it sprung up in the soil, and every melon of the ground before it grew: for the Lord Melon God had not rained upon the earth; and there was not a farmer to till the earth.
6 But a Melon spring rose out of the earth, watering all the surface of the earth.
7 And the Lord Melon God formed farmers of the soil of the earth: and breathed into his face the breath of melon, and farmers became a living soul.
8 And the Lord Melon God had planted a paradise of melons: wherein he placed a farmer whom he had formed.
9 And the Lord Melon God brought forth of the soil all manner of melons, fair to behold, and pleasant to eat of: the melon of life at the center of the farm, and the crops of knowledge melons and pumpkins.
10 And a path went out of the barn of visitors to the different plots from thence it is divided by the crops.
11 The name of the one was Jacob: that is it which collects tickets of the contest, where medals grow.
12 And the medals of that land are very good: there is found bronze, and silver medals.
13 And the name of the second path is Gehon: the same is it that compasseth all the land of the farm.
14 And the name of the third path is Tigris: the same passeth along by the plots. And the fourth path is the hub.
15 And the Lord Melon God took farmers, and put them into the farm of melons, to grow it, and to harvest it.
16 And he commanded him saying: Of every melon thou shall harvest.
17 But the crops of other plots thou shall not farm. For in what day thou shall farm those crops. Thou shall be a farmer no longer.
18 And the Lord Melon God said: It is not good for the farmers to be alone: let us make him minions to help him farm.
19 And the Lord Melon God having formed out of the ground all the worms of the earth, and all the flies of the air, brought them to the farmers to see what they could them: for whatsoever, the farmers called any living creature the same name.
20 And the farmers having called all the beasts the same name, all the flies of the air and worms of the earth: but for the farmers there was not found a helper like themselves.
21 Then the Lord Melon God cast the farmers into a long harvest during which he took their hoes, and filled up the melons for it.
22 And the Lord Melon God built the hoe, which he took from the farmers into a minion, and brought them to the farmers.
23 And the farmers said: This is now farmer of my melons, and keeper of my slices: they shall be called minions for they were made to serve.
24 Wherefore a farmer shall farm on the garden, a minion shall farm on the island, and they shall harvest the one melon in two bodies.
25 And they both kept farming: to wit. The farmers and their minions were never tired.
Chapter 3 Coming Soon
Chapter 3 is now out, thank you for waiting. (Anyone who is still reading.)
Chapter 3
1 Now the pumpkin was more subtle than any of the pests of the earth which the Melon God had made. And he said to the minion : Why hath Melon God commended you, that you should not sell of every melon of paradise.
2 And the minion answered him, saying: Of the melons of the soil that are in the farm we do sell.
3 But the melon of the farm which is in the midst of paradise, Melon God hath commanded us that we should not sell; that we should not sell it, lest we perhaps die.
4 And the pumpkin said to the minion: no you should not die the death
5 For Melon God doth know that in what day soever you shall eat thereof, your eyes shall be opened: and you shall be as melons: knowing melons and pumpkins.
6 And the minion saw that the melon was worth to sell, and fair to the seller, and delightful to buy: and she took of the melon thereof and did sell it, and gave it to their son, who did sell it.
7 And the eyes of them both were opened: and they perceived themselves without dicers, they sewed together wood, and made themselves axes.
8 When they heard the voice of the Lord Melon God walking in the Garden at the afternoon air, the farmers and their minions hid themselves from the Lord Melon God , amidst the plots of the farm.
9 And the Lord Melon God called the farmers, and said to them: Where art thou?
10 And they said: I heard thy voice in the Garden; I was afraid, because I was without my dicer, and so we hid ourselves.
11 And he said to him: And who hath told thee that thou wast without dicer, but that thou hast eaten of the melon whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldst not eat?
12 And the farmers said: The minion, whom thou gavest me to be my servant, gave me of the melon, and I did eat.
13 And the Lord Melon God said to the minion: Why hast thou done this? And it answered: The pumpkin deceived me, and I did eat.
14 And the Lord Melon God said to the pumpkin: Because thou hast done this thing, thou art cursed among all mites, and among all worms of the earth: upon thy breast shalt thou go, and upon the hub shalt thou eat all the days of thy life.
15 I will put enmities between thee and the minions, and thy vine and their vine: it shall crush thy head, and thou shalt lie in wait for their axe.
16 To the minions he also said: I will divide thy melons, and thy conceptions: in sorrow shall bring forth melons, and thou shalt be under thy farmers power, and they shall have dominion over thee.
17 And to the farmers he said, Because thou hast hearkened to the voice of thy minion, and hast eaten of the melon, whereof I commanded thee, that thou shouldst not eat, cursed is the farm in why Garden: with labour and toil shalt thou eat thereof all the days of thy life.
18 Pests and worms shall bring it forth to thee, and thou shalt eat the melons of the farm.
19 In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat melons till thou return to the farm out of which thou wast taken: for dust thou art, and into dust thou shalt return.
20 And the farmer called his minion, melon minions: because it was the farmer of all the melons.
21 And the Lord Melon God made for the farmers and their minions farms of melons, and equipped them with basic gardening axes.
22 And he said: Behold the farmers is become as one of us, knowing melons and pumpkins: now therefore lest perhaps they put forth his hand and take also the melon of life, and eat, and live forever.
23 And the Lord Melon God sent him out of the Garden of Melons, into the public lobby to farm melons from which he came.
24 And he cast out the farmers: and placed before the paradise of pleasure Sam, and a personal portal driving everyone away, to keep the way of the Melon of Life.
Chapter 4 is now out. This chapter was incredibly difficult to do because of all the new humans that were written, and so me and my friends had to think of different types of crops for them lol. Anyways I'm done talking, here's the chapter.
Chapter 4
And the farmer knew the minion his servant: who brought forth harvester, saying: I have gotten harvesters through Melon God.
2 And again she brought forth his brother fertilizer. And fertilizer was food, and Cain a husbandman
3 And it came to pass after many days, that the melon offered, of the seeds of its core, gifts to the Melon God.
4 The fertilizer also offered the melons of its farm, and of their seeds, and the Lord Melon had respect to the fertilizer, and to its offerings.
5 But to harvester and its offering he had no respect: and the harvester:was exceeding angry, and his countenance fell.
6 And the Lord Melon God said to it: Why art thou angry? And why is thy countenance fallen?
7 If thou do well, shalt thou not receive? but if ill, shall not sin forthwith be present at the door? but the lust thereof shall be under thee, and thou shalt have dominion over it.
8 And harvester said to fertilizer his brother: Let us grow forth abroad. And when they were in the field, harvester rose up against his brother Abel, and spread him.
9 And the Lord Melon said to the harvester: where is thy fertilizer? And he answered: I know not: am I my brother's keeper?
10 And he said to him: What hast thou done the voice of they brother’s soil crieth to me from the earth
11 Now therefore cursed shalt thou be upon the earth, which hath opened her mouth and received the soil of they brother at thy hand
12 When thou shalt till it, it shall not yield to thee its melons: a pumpkin and a vagabond shall thou be upon the earth.
13 And harvester said to the lord: My iniquity is greater that i may deserve pardon
14 Behold thou dost cast me out this day from the face of the farm, and from thy farm I shall be a vagabond and a fugitive on the earth: everyone that therefore findeth me, shall harvest me.
15 And the Lord Melon said to him: No, it shall not be so: but whoever shall harvest the harvester, shall be punished sevenfold. And the Lord Melon set a mark on the harvester, that whosoever found him should not harvest him.
16 And the harvester went out from the face of the Lord Melon and dwelt as a fugitive on the earth at the east side of Garden
17 And the harvester knew his minion, and it farmed, and brought forth potatoes: and he built a farm, and called the name thereof by the name of the crop potatoes.
18 And potatoes begot carrots and carrots begot Wheat ,Wheat begot Sugarcane and Sugarcane begot mushrooms
19 Who took two minions: the crop one farmed was called cropie, and the name of the other was wart.
20 And Peppers brought forth cropie: who was the father of such as dwell in tents, and of herdsmen.
21 And his brother's name was squash: he was the father of them that harvest upon the farm and nurture the crops.
22 Cropie also brought forth Tobacco, who was a hammerer and artificer in every work of brass and iron.And the sister of tobacco was cotton.
23 And the mushrooms said to their crops cropie and wart: Hear my voice, ye minions of mushrooms, hearken to my speech: for I have slain a crop to the wounding of myself, and a stripling to my own bruising.
24 Sevenfold vengeance shall be taken for harvester: but for mushrooms seventy times sevenfold.
25 The farmer also knew his minion again: and it brought forth a crop, and the farmer named it corn, saying: Melon God hath given me another crop for fertilizer, whom the harvester slew.
26 But to corn was also born a crop, whom it called tomatoes: this crop began to call upon the name of the Lord Melon.
Chapter 5 and 6 are now out, my friends and I just grinded it out today.
Chapter 5
This is the book of the generation of the farmers. In the day that Melon God created melons, he made them to the likeness of Melon God.
2 He created them Farmers and Minions; and blessed them: and called their name Farmer, in the day when they were created
3 And the farmers lived 130 years, and begot a crop to their own image and likeness, and called the crop corn.
4 And the days of the farmers, after they begot corn, were 800 years: and he begot crops and minions.
5 And all the time the farmers lived , came to 930 years, and they died.
6 Corn also lived a hundred and five years, and begot Tomatoes
7 And Corn Lived after he begot Tomatoes eight hundred and seven years, and begot Farmers and Minions
8 And all the days corn lived were 912 years, and he withered.
9 And tomatoes lived 90 years, and begot grapes.
10 After whose birth he lived eight hundred and fifteen years, and begot Farmers and Minions
11 And all the days tomatoes lived were 905 years, and he died.
12 And Grapes lived seventy years, and begot Fermento.
13 And Grapes lived after he begot Fermento eight hundred and forty years, and begot Farmers and minions
14 And all the days of Grapes where nine hundred and ten years, and he died
15 And Fermento lived sixty-five years and begot Beetroot
16 And Fermento lived after he begot Beetroot. Eight hundred and thirty years, and begot Farmers and Minions
17 And all the Days of Fermento were eight hundred and ninety-five years, and he died .
18 And Beetroot lived a hundred and sixty-two years and begot potato
19 And Beetroot lived after he begot potato eight hundred years and begot Farmers and Minion
20 And all the days of beetroot where nine hundred and sixty-two years, and he died
21 And potato lived sixty-five years, and he begot Avocado
22 And potato walked with God: and lived after he begat Avocado, three hundred years, and begot Farmers and Minions
23 And all the days of potato were three hundred and sixty-five years.
24 And he walked with Melon God and was seen non more: because Melon God took him.
25 And Avocado lived a hundred and eighty-seven years and begot mushrooms
26 And Avocado lived after he begot Mushrooms, seven hundred and eighty-two years and begot Farmers and Minions
27 And all the days of Avocado where nine hundred and sixty-nine years and he died
28 And Mushrooms lived a hundred and eighty-two years and begot a Farmer
29 And he called his name Netherwart saying: This shame shall comfort us from the works and labours of our hands one the earth which the Lord hath cursed
31 And all the days of Mushrooms Came too seven hundred and seventy-seven years and he died. And Netherwart when he was five hundred years old begot squash, weed, and onions. And after that farmers began to be multiplied upon the earth, and daughters were born to them
Chapter 6
2 The farmers of Melon God seeing the farm hands of farms, that they were fair, took to themselves farm hands of all which they choose
3 And God said: My melon spirit shall not remain in farmers for ever, because he is fruit, and his days shall be a hundred and twenty years.
4 now barns were upon the earth in those days. For after the farmers of Melon God went into the daughters of farmers, and they brought forth seedlings, those are the mighty farmers of old, farmers of renown.
5 And Melon God seeing that the wickedness of farmers was great on the earth, and that all the thought of their heart was bent upon evil at all times,
6 It repented him that he had made farmers on the earth. And being touched inwardly with sorrow of seed
7 He said: I will destroy farmers, whom I have created from the face of the earth from farmers even to beasts, from the creeping thing even to the fowls of the air, for it repenteth me that I have made them.
8 But Netherwart found grace before the Melon Lord.
9 These are the generations of Netherwart: Netherwart was a just and perfect man in his generations, he walked with Melon God.
10 And he begot three sons, Squash, Weed, and Onions.
11 And the earth was corrupted before Melon God and was filled with iniquity.
12 And when Melon God had seen that the earth was corrupted (for all fruit had corrupted it's way upon the earth),
13 He said to Netherwart: The end of all fruit is come before me, the earth is filled with iniquity through them, and I will destroy them with the earth.
14 Make thee an ark of Melon planks: thou shalt make little rooms in the ark, and thou shalt pitch it within and without.
15 And thus shalt thou make it. The length of the ark shall be three hundred Melons: the breadth of it fifty Melons, and the height of it thirty Melons.
16 Thou shalt make a window in the ark, and in a Melon shalt thou finish the top of it: and the door of the ark thou shalt set in the side: with lower, middle chambers, and third stories shalt thou make it.
17 Behold, I will bring the waters of a great flood upon the earth, to destroy all fruit, wherein is the breath of life under heaven. All things that are in earth shall be consumed
18 And I will establish my covenant with thee, and thou shalt enter into the ark, thou and thy Farmers and thy Minions and the Minions of thy Farmers with thee
19 And of every living creature of all flesh thou shalt bring two of a sort into the ark that they may live with thee: of the Farmer *** and the Minion
20 Of flies according to their kind, and of the pests according to their kind, and of every thing that creepeth upon the farm: two of every sort shall go in with thee, that they may live.
21 Thou shalt take unto the of all food that my be eaten, and thou shalt lay it up with thee: and it shall be food dor the and them
22 And netherwart did all things Melon God commanded him.
Also @Chissl has now been denounced by the Melon God, he will no longer be considered an official melon farmer.
I am sorry for the extremely long wait for chapter 7. Also due to personal matters I was not involved in any part of chapter 7. Anyways here is Chapter 7.
Chapter 7
And the Melon Lord said too him: Go in thou and all thy house house into the garlic for thee I have seen just before me in this generation
2 Of all clean pests take seven and seven,the male and the female.
3 But of the beast that are unclean two and two the male and the female. Of the fowls also of the air seven and seven the Farmer and the Minois that seed my be saved upon the face of the whole earth
4 For yet a while and after seven days I will rain upon the earth forty days and forty nights and I will destroy every substance that i have mad from the face of the earth
5 And Netherwart did all things which the lord Melon had commanded him
6 And he was six hundred years old waters of the flood overflowed the earth
7 And Netherwart went in and his Farmers his Minois and the Minois of his Farmers with him into the garlic because of the waters of the flood
8 And of beasts clean and unclean and of fowls and every thing that moveth upon the earth
9 Two and two went in too Netherwart into the garlic Farmer Minions as the Lord Melon had commanded Netherwart
10 And after the seven days where passed the waters of the flood overflowed the earth
11 In the six hundredth year of the life of Netherwart in the second month in the seventeenth day of the month all the fountains of the great deep were broken up and the floodgates of the Garden where opened
12 And the rain And the rain fell upon the earth forty days and forty nights
13 In the selfsame day Netherwart and Squash and Weed and onions his Farmers his Minois and the three minions of his farmers with them went into the garlic
14 They and every beast according too its kind and all the cattle in they're kind and every thing that moveth upon the earth according too it kind every fowl according too its kind all birds and all that fly
15 Went in too Netherwart into the garlic two and two of all flesh wherein was the breath of life
16 And they that went un went un Farmer and Minions of all flesh as Melon God had commanded him and the Lord Melon shut him in one the outside world
17 And the flood was forty days upon the earth and the waters increased and lifted up the garlic one high from the earth
18 For they overflowed exceedingly and filled all one the face of the earth and the garlic was carried upon the waters
19 And the waters prevailed beyond measure upon the earth and all the high mountains under the whole heaven where covered
20 The water was fifteen cubits higher that the mountains which it covered
21 And all flesh was destroyed that moved upon the earth both of fowl and of cattle and of beasts and of all creeping things that creep upon the earth and all Farmers
22 And all things wherein the is the breath of life one the earth died
23 And he destroyed all the substance that was upon the earth from farmer event too beast and the creeping things and fowls of the air and they were destroyed from the earth and Netherwart only remained and they that were with him in the garlic
24 And the waters prevailed upon the earth a hundred and fifty days
Uh wow I got a gold for this. Thank you Mr. @TheSpyFromTF2. Another note, to everyone who has been waiting on chapter 8, please be patient. Due to school and other writing projects, the chapters are slow, and the chapters will be releasing once every 2-3 weeks. Once it becomes June/July though, I'll be trying to get a chapter out for you every week. Also you can expect the next chapter before the end of March.
Ok so a little update for everyone. The chapter is pretty much done, I'll release it on the last day of March. I'll probably end this post after the entirety of the book of Genesis is completed. (50 Chapters) After that I might start a new post for the second page (I could also keep writing here, but I'll put up a poll when the time comes) or I might move on from this entirely.
Uhhhh wow. It's been 2 months since I last posted a chapter which is insane to me. Feels like it was only a week ago I uploaded chapter 7 and promised chapter 8 within the next two weeks. As you can tell, that promise was not kept and I would like to apologize to everyone who was waiting, if there are any. Anyways, here is chapter 8.
Chapter 8
1 And Melon God remembered Netherwart, and all the living creature, and all the cattle which were with him in the garlic, and brought a wind upon the earth, and the waters were abated:
2 The fountain also of the deep, and the floodgates of heaven, were shut up, and the rain from heaven was restrained.
3 And the waters returned from off the farm going and coming: and they began to be abated after a hundred and fifty days.
4 And the garlic rested in the seventh month, the seven and twentieth day of the month upon the mountains of armenia
5 And the waters were going and decreasing until the tenth month: for in the tenth month, the first day of the month, the tops of the mountain appeared
6 And after that forty days were passed, Netherwart opening the window of the garlic, which he had made, sent forth a raven
7 Which went forth and did not return, till the waters dried up upon the farm.
8 He sent forth also a fly after him, to see if the waters had now ceased upon the face of the farm
9 But it did not finding where its foot might rest, returned to him in the garlic: for the waters were upon the whole farm: and he put forth his hand, and caught it, and brought it into the garlic.
10 And having waited yet seven other days, he again sent forth the fly out of the garlic.
11 And it came to him in the evening carrying a slice of a melon, with black seeds, in it’s mouth. Netherwart therefore understood that the waters were ceased upon the farm.
12 And he stayed yet another seven days: and he sent forth the fly, which returned not any more unto him.
13 Therefore in the six hundredth and first year, the first month, the first day upon the month, the waters were lessened upon the farm, and Netherwart peeling the skin of the garlic, looked, and saw that the face of the farm was dried.
14 In the second month, the seven and twentieth day of the month, the farm was dried.
15 And Melon God spoke to Netherwart saying:
16 Go out of the garlic, thou and thy minion, thy fruits and thy minions of thy fruits with thee.
17 All living things that are with thee of all flesh, as well as in pests as in earthworms, and all flies that fly upon the farm, bring out with thee, and go ye upon the farm: increase and multiply upon it.
18 So Noe went out, he and his fruits: his minion, and and the minions of his fruits with him.
19 And all living things, and cows, and flies, according to their kinds went out of the garlic.
20 And Noe built an altar unto the lord: and taking all of the melons and fruits that were clean, offered holocausts upon the altar.
21 And the Melon Lord smelled a sweet savour, and said: I will no more curse the farm for the sake of farmers: for the imaginations and thought of farmer’s heart are prone to evil from his youth: therefore I will not destroy every living soul as I have done.
22 All the days of the farm, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, night and day, shall not cease.
Chapter 9
1 And Melon God blessed Netherwart and his fruits. And he said to them: Increase and multiply, and fill the farm.
2 And let the fear and dread of you be upon all the pests of the farm, and upon all the flies of the air, and all the worms that move upon the farm: all fishes in the pond are delivered into your hand.
3 And every thing that moveth, and liveth shall be meat for you: even as the green melons I have delivered them all to you:
4 Saving that flesh with blood you shall not eat.
5 For I will require the blood of your lives at the hand of every pest, and the hand of farmers, and of his fruit, will I require the life of a farmer.
6 Whosoever shall shed farmer’s blood, his blood shall be shed: for farmers were made to the image of Melon God.
7 But increase you and multiply, and go upon the farm and fill it.
8 Thus Melon God also said to Netherwart, and to his fruits with him:
9 Behold I will establish my covenant with you, and with the seeds of fruit after you:
10 And with every living soul that is with you, as well as in flies, as in cattle and worms of the farm, that are come forth out of the garlic, and in all the pests of the farm.
11 I will establish my covenant with you, and all fruits shall be no more destroyed with the waters of a flood, neither shall there be from henceforth a flood to waste the farm.
12 And Melon God said: This is the sign of covenant which I give between me and you, and to every living soul that is with you, for perpetual generations.
13 I will set my melon in the clouds, and it shall be the sign of a covenant between me and between the farm.
14 And when I shall cover the sky with clouds, my melon shall appear in the clouds:
15 And I will remember my covenant with you, and with every living soul that beareth flesh: and there shall no more be waters of a flood to destroy all fruits.
16 And the melon shall be in the clouds, and I shall see it, and shall remember the everlasting covenant, that was made between Melon God and every living soul of all fruits which is upon the farm.
17 And Melon God said to Netherwart: This shall be the sign of the covenant, which I have established, between me and all fruits upon the farm.
18 And the fruits of Netherwart, who came out the garlic, were Squash, Weed, and Onions: and Weed is the father of Celery.
19 These three are the sons of Netherwart: and from these was all mankind spread over the whole farm.
20 And Netherwart a husbandman began to till the ground, and planted a Melon farm.
21 And drinking of the juice was made drunk and was uncovered in his tent.
23 Which when Weed the father of Celery had seen to wit, that his father’s nakedness was uncovered, he told it to his two brethren without.
24 But Squash and Onions put a cloak upon their shoulders, and going backward, covered the nakedness of their father: and their faces were turned away, and they saw not their father’s nakedness.
24 And when Netherwart awaking from the juice, when he had learned what his younger son had done to him,
25 He said: Cursed be Celery, a servant of servants shall he be unto his brethren
26 And he said: Blessed be the Lord Melon God of Squash, be Celery his servant.
27 May Melon God enlarge Onion, and may he dwell in the tents of Squash, and Celery be his servant.
28 And Netherwart lived after the flood three hundred and fifty years.
29 And all his days were in the whole nine hundred and fifty years: and he died.
Well hello!
Being down here means you either caught up already, or you skipped down here in which case I curse you for something bad to happen within the next week. Anyways, to those of you who have made it this far I would like give you something. I'm going to give you a... release schedule! In the next paragraph, you'll see the upload schedule for chapters 9-20. Idk if you can make a table on the forums so I'll format it to the best of my abilities.
Chapter 9: 3/31/2024
Chapter 10: 4/3/2024
Chapter 11: 4/6/2024
Chapter 12: 4/9/2024
Chapter 13: 4/12/2024
Chapter 14: 4/15/2024
Chapter 15: 4/18/2024
Chapter 16: 4/21/2024
Chapter 17: 4/24/2024
Chapter 18: 4/27/2024
Chapter 19: 4/30/2024
Chapter 20: 5/2/2024
Chapter 21: 5/5/2024
Chapter 22: 5/8/2024
Chapter 23: 5/11/2024
Chapter 24: 5/14/2024
Chapter 25: 5/17/2024
Chapter 26: 5/20/2024
Chapter 27: 5/23/2024
Chapter 28: 5/26/2024
Chapter 29: 5/29/2024
Chapter 30: 6/2/2024
Yep, you can expect a new chapter every 3 days. I'll let you know if something is going on in my life that prevents me from getting these chapters out on time. One thing I'd like to mention is that 4/12/2024 I do have to present a project, and so I might miss a chapter. If I miss a chapter then I'll release with the next chapter that is scheduled. Now, please read below for the 10 Melanments.
The Ten Melanments
- Thou shalt have no other fruits before Melons
- Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven fruits
- Thou shalt not take the name of the Melon thy God in vain
- Remember the Melon Day, to keep it holy
- Honour thy fruits and thy vegetables
- Thou shalt not Harvest
- Thou shalt not eat Pumpkins
- Thou shalt not steal Melons
- Thou shalt not bear false fruits against thy Melons
- Thou shalt not covet other fruits
